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i just realised i've turned really bitter over the past two days. because of superficial shit.
yea, its like i think that i have been thinking that i liked you, but now i think that i just imagined it. shit, now i admit, in some weird way, i am bloody weird. but i realised its all in thoughts, nothing set in stone. and why am i so bitteR? whenever i see something around you not related to me, i just turn sour. bitter. salty. anything but sweet. and you dont seem to care what happens to me either. i remembered, you told me awhile back, because i was telling you about my personal thoughts about some stuff. inner beauty was what mattered most, in your opinion. and back then, your opinion mattered, to me.alot. but now, i am starting to feel you an empty vessel who knows how to spill alota crap that everyone thinks makes sense, which does, but which you just spout but not apply. and along comes this other girl. a friend, perhaps, but she is stunningly pretty. ever since you started knowing her, you stopped talking to me so much. maybe i am just imagining this, but it hurts. you know? betcha dont. now you just made me blabber about shit. and i am prolly going to , for a long time.

Missed him @4:57 AM

hello world. this week has been pretty normalll! lets start from last sunday. i went to support friends at the karate tournament! laughs, had an interesting although notvery fruitful time there. met up with somefriends that i havent seen for a long time so it wasall worth it.
on monday it was mugmugmug for tues test. and beg for extensions for chinese! haha, i forgot all about it and even if i remembered i left it in sch. tuesday was test day. nth much happened.wednesdayyy was capt ball day. had alotafun, lost one game won two games( or was it 3?). thursday had drama, as usual bitchbitchbitch abt a certain someone. she deserves it. friday had spirit of the class competition.2 Se i love you guys ttm always! i think we did pretty well for a laast minute thangg. and rushed hone for dinner, i wore my antennas all the way jome with hani! haha who knew hani dared! but she did it and ily sweetie!after dinner went for karate, as usual quite fun learnt sth new. HAHA after karate went by pool as usual to chill for awhilewith friends then realised that my mum was watching me from upstairs. wthhhgg. oh well whateverrr.
Went out with the karate people for awhile ytd, play basketball and such. (: interesting time. as usual the guys were late cos SOME people had to bathe. who bathes before going for basketball( oh wait, i do.) HAHA. oh well. going for tuition now:l

Rachel

i realised i have been really stupid over the past 6 mths or so. now i am learning to bear the weight of this crushed empty nutshell that i have to harbour for life. or at least a long time. thinking about what i have always pictured you as, oh well blame me for being silly and always dreaming about what wouldnt happen. i used to wonder what people saw in you, then i saw it for myself and now i have lost that vision almost altogether. you are fading into oblivion, a black abyss in which i hope you will never find your way out of and break another helpless girls heart. make her lie and wonder, what were you doing now, hoping you'd be thinking of her as well; watching her phone vibrate each time only to snatch it up and find out its some other guys who was suffering what she felt, not because of him, but because of her. the vicious and spiteful cycle that goes on in breakin little hearts everywhere regardless of gender, just because one exceptionally intriguing guy manages to capture countless of girls hearts, including the one that promised never to hurt herself so badly again, only to find her heart beating so fast whenever whatever he did. and all he thinks about, just manages to cut her so deeply the scar of this episode runs through the inside on her heart etched, printed. to the guy perhaps they are the stupid ones. to the girl, the guy was the stupid and blind one. and to the rest of the people, she was the stupid blind and naive one that was going to lose out in the end. and now that girl agrees.

Missed him @1:40 AM